How Can I Tell if My Cat Does Love Me?
Many myths exist about cats and their ability to bond with people. Questions I hear often include: “Does my cat love me? Can cats even feel love??”
It has been a long held belief that cats only see us as their servants and not as real companions. As a cat mommy to many cats, and cat caretaker to thousands more, I can tell you with unwavering certainty that nothing could be further from the truth. Cats love unconditionally and with loyalty; they just have their own way of showing it.
If you’ve ever wondered if your cat really does love you, here are a fews ways your cat says “I Love You” every single day. I am sure your cat exhibits some, if not all, of these loving behaviors.
Purrs and Meows
Is your cat purring so loudly that you think a tanker truck has pulled up in front of your house? Or is she meowing at you incessantly from another room, beckoning you to come and play? Oh yes, it’s unmistakable then. Your cat loves you. Purring is the highest sign of feline love and contentment. Coupled with meows, which is a sound reserved only for a cat’s special human, your cat is saying she loves you. My late cat Sweet Pea would stand in the kitchen and meow until I came over to see what all the fuss is about. It was her way to get me alone so she could have my undivided attention.
Follows You Everywhere
If your cat is constantly following you around, getting in your way, preventing you from getting anything done, then you have a cat who loves you. Cats want to be close to their humans and also want to be their focal point. For example, my cat Pinky gets very jealous anytime I talk on the phone. She will sit beside me and loudly meow until I pay attention to her.
All my cats like to follow me from room to room as I do chores around the house, sometimes tripping me along the way to make sure I pay them some attention. And forget about going into the bathroom alone; I am not allowed to close the bathroom door unless I want them to rattle it off the hinges!
Kitty Presents
One of the most loving gestures at cat does is to bring her owner presents, which for an outdoor cat would mean bringing home her prey. With our wonderful indoor cats, they will bring you their toys instead. My cat, Simba, loves to bring my his favorite red straw. We play a little game of fetch; I toss it and he brings it back to me several times before I get breakfast ready.
Perhaps one of the most touching things I’ve seen is when my cat Trouble passed away a few years ago. The next morning, some of my cats had piled up toys outside of the kitty cubby where Trouble used to sleep. That is true feline love.
Belly Up
A sign of trust, love and contentment is when your cat rolls around at your feet and exposes her belly, or when she falls asleep belly-side-up in the middle of the room. Only a happy and trusting cat will show you her most vulnerable side. But remember, showing the belly does not mean it is an open invitation to pet the belly. Not every cat likes to be touched there, no matter how much they love you! A client cat of mine, TJ, has come to trust and love me. He will often show me his tummy, but I have learned the hard way not to scratch him there.
Head Bonks
The head bonk is a sure sign your cat loves and accepts you as one of their own. Cats do this with one another too, as a sign of friendship. When I added a new young male cat, Colby, to my household, I knew he was going to be accepted when alpha cat BooBoo gave him a loving but firm bonk with his forehead. My Cupcake cat bonks my leg with her head incessantly while I am getting her food ready. Especially when accompanied by “elevator butt” (when a cat raises her read end high into the air), a head bonk is a sure sign of loving affection.
Love Nips and Biscuits
I am not talking about full bites, but those gentle little nips a cat gives you while you are petting her are signs of total love and devotion. They are usually accompanied by half-closed eyes and deep purring. Some cats can get a little overly exuberant about them, but teach them to keep it gentle by saying “ow” and walking away if the bites get too intense. Gentle little nips are a high honor, and you are very special to your cat if you receive them. If you also get some kneading action along with the love bites, affectionately referred to as “making biscuits,” then you really are the cat’s meow!
Your Lap is a Cat Bed
Do you watch television with a cat snoozing on your lap? Do you usually have a purry companion in bed with you at night? If your cat likes to sleep on or next to you, then you are a most beloved cat parent. My cat Smoochy runs to sleep on my chest or in my lap the moment I sit down, and Sweetie Pie isn’t happy unless I hold her against my chest as we watch TV. My big 16-pound cat, Lovey, isn’t happy unless he’s snoozing on my hip. I always have a few furry companions in bed with me all night. In fact, the first face I see in the morning is usually that of my BooBoo kitty.
Slow Eye Blink
In even the most shy of cats, the slow eye blink is a sure sign acceptance and love. My semi feral cat, Brownie, has been with me since she was 8 weeks old, yet she retains much of her reclusive feral quality. Although she is very shy, she does return my slow blinks to let me know she appreciates and loves me.
Look at your cat and blink your eyes deliberately and slowly while talking to her. If after a few moments she returns the slow blink, you have indeed made a love connection.
Your cat’s love may manifest itself in unique and special ways, but her love for you runs just as deep as your love for her.
Now that you know the signs, you’ll be able to understand her cat love language and deepen the bond with your cat even more.
Hi,
I recently got an adult Siamese cat from a breeder, it is almost more than 3 weeks she is with me, but the moment she sees me go hiding, every time she finds a new hiding place, she eats well and drink water fountain I bought for her, i have so many different treats, but only eating when I am not around, I am getting so depress by this behavior. Please help me. She is not into catnips and I don’t see her playing with toys and never gets thrilled by laser point. I don’t know what else to do. In my absence she runs around which I can see through the camera and at night as if she is the queen of the house.
Hi Abida,
Thank you so much for reaching out. Congratulations on the new addition to your family!
Three weeks is not a huge amount of time for a cat to adjust to a new home, especially adults. It’s a great sign that she is eating and drinking well, so she is getting more comfortable. Kitty just entered your home, a brand new place with new smells and new people. Especially new people. Coming from a breeding situation, she may or may not have been handled a lot by humans.
Here are some things you can do:
1) Start her off in a smaller area, like a bedroom or den, so she has less places to hide
2) Sit by where she is hiding, talk to her in soothing tones. Even reading a book or your emails out loud in a soothing tone will get her used to your voice and your presence.
3) Leave her a small treat when you leave her area, and say something like “Treat for you” or some phrase. She’ll begin to associate those words with leaving her a treat, and she may even start to peek out of her hiding spot to see and get the treat.
4) Leave something you’ve worn by hiding spot, so she gets used to your smell. Cats are motivated more by smell than anything else, and she needs to learn that you are trustworthy. She’ll begin associating your scent with positive happenings.
5) As she peeks our more, try luring her into play with a wand type toy. She may take a while to respond; she may not have learned to play as a breeder kitty.
Do you have other cats or pets in your home?
Here is an article I wrote about bringing home a new kitty. https://catbehavioralliance.com/introducing-cats/bringing-home-baby/
Time and Patience will go a long way toward helping her bond with you. Please come back and let Linda and I know how it’s going.
Rita